I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
