mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
home. puking in laundry basket.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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