I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
that is very illegal...i love you.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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