dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
