this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
