I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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