My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
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the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
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I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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