watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize