i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
