She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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