btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
