her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
