Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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