btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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