I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
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He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
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Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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