there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
