I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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