Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
