that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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