and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You can't just leave with hair like that
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
