You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
