im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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