i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
