is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
