are you still at the devil's house?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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