I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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