gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
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Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
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in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize