hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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