I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
How naked do you want me to be?
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