Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
