I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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