I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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