Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Boobs speak an international language.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
