My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
