Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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