Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
