i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
