yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize