We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
