Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?

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(301): View more from Maryland

roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am

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(712): View more from Iowa

I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night

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(940): View more from Texas

Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night

(1-940): View more from Texas

I don't have a cat..?

(940): View more from Texas

Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.

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(440): View more from Ohio

well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.

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(858): View more from California

We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.

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(770): View more from Georgia

let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that

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