you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
