u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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