omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
