let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
