I got her a Nickelback box set.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
