I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
