I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i just google imaged poop.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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