It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I have post one night stand depression
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
