i would punch a child for taco bell
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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