I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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