I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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