I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
