What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
