out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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