if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Alive.
So much puke
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
